@Fred_Delicious: the first rule of OCD club is that there must be a second rule so we have an even number of rules
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@iwearaonesie: Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip Don't trip again Don't trip again Don't trip again Don't trip again - me running up the stairs
@BoogTweets: *Busts through Kool-aid mans wall* Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home Me: I'm sorr… *A sippy cup starts crying*
@joshy_beck: There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro.
@SondraDeeMe: You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet.