@Macar00ny: The first time a girl walked up to me and gave me her number I didn't know what to do so I ate it.
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@Diane_7A: Twitter has no plot, millions of characters, & it never ends. Basically, it's a "Hobbit" movie.
@itsWillyFerrell: Operator: "9-1-1 please hold..." Me: "Ok. Hey, stop stabbing me for a second." Murderer: "K."
@MollyERA: DON'T TELL ME THAT PLANTS MAKING THEIR OWN FOOD ISNT AMAZING. THATS LIKE YOU GOING TO TACO BELL BUT THE TACOS WERE INSIDE YOU THE WHOLE TIME
@Stellacopter: I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.