@Macar00ny: The first time a girl walked up to me and gave me her number I didn't know what to do so I ate it.
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@duplicitron: The best part of having a banana instead of a cell phone is no one on this plane can actually make me turn it off or stop talking into it.
@TheBeerGuy73: Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time.
@rachelle_mandik: most vending-machine shaking incidents are elaborate coverups by people who don't want to be seen hugging the machine and saying i love you