@Macar00ny: The first time a girl walked up to me and gave me her number I didn't know what to do so I ate it.
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@69hunna: How to sex: Boy: can I put my finger in your belly button Girl: sure Girl: that's not my belly button Boy: that's not my finger
@Elizasoul80: Trump, 2 years into his presidency: "What do you mean we can't just file for bankruptcy?"
@Sarcasticsapien: I'm done congratulating people for having babies. Parents have been getting praise for having sex incorrectly for way too long.
@sad_tree: *a dog sits down at a roulette table and pushes his life savings in chips to the center* Put it all on Grey