@StumpWoodley: The first time I bit into a Cadbury egg I understood women who spit.
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@sara_ashlynn: When I'm mad at my kid, I don't put the straw from the juice box in their school lunch.
@topaz_kell: And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
@matt___nelson: I feel bad for all these athletes training for the Olympics in 2016 since we're all gonna die in 2012