@haveigotnews: Apple launches new phone with no headphone jack, making it ideal for enjoying the free U2 album.

@aRealLiveGhost: to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other

@Jazzzzzmina: Not to brag, but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

@lisaxy424: Based on how he reacts, you'd think my dog's entire family was killed by pizza delivery guys.

@CaucasianJames: so ur trying to tell me a buffalo chicken made this dip