@NicCageMatch: The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO
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@KizerBillhelm: Make librarians cry by calling it a "Book Museum" while taking pictures with your iPad.
@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.
@ReticentTurnip: Are you questioning my vocabulary skills, pal? Cause you are gonna get punched right in the plethora
@joshgondelman: "At least you're going to get a lot of material out of this," is comedian-speak for, "Sorry about your life, dude."