@NicCageMatch: The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO
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@DirtMcTurd: "We have a new product, it washes hair but it needs a name" Shamcrap?! "Awful" Shampoop?! "Get out!" Shampoo? "Genius!"
@ericsshadow: [at my high school reunion] Hey guys, remember last year when we toilet papered Mrs. Krebb's house? "Dude that was in 1991."
@Tharin_P: There are certain people who assume that I'm intelligent. These people aren't aware that I cannot tear off perforated paper.