@FlyoverJoel: The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food.
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@NYC_Blonde: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it date an emotionally available, age-appropriate, nice, single guy with a good job.
@amydillon: My son just demanded to be changed into different pajamas for breakfast. Thanks, royal baby.
@BradBroaddus: My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.