@BrandonEsWolf: The flight attendant keeps saying "Please stop asking for peanuts. Busses don't have flight attendants."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AndLive2Love: We were making out on the couch and She's like "Let's take this upstairs" I'm like "Ok you grab one side and I'll grab the other!"
@DKSC4LIFE: LIFE HACK: If you’re a spy, marry a vegan. They won’t be upset when they find out you’re a plant.
@Brampersandon_: BAD GUY (hiding in my back seat): *strangling me to death* ME: *choking but still embarrassed he heard me singing that shania twain song*
@gerryhallcomedy: Sadly learned my family is racist. I started dating a black girl. Brought her home to meet the family. Wife and kids wouldn't talk to her.