@aligarchy: the fondue...? you mean, my drinking cheese?
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@FrenulumBreve: Crocodile: "See ya later alligator." Alligator: "yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."
@Tups13: There's no use crying over spilt milk. Particularly skimmed milk. Skimmed milk is watery enough without you sobbing into it.
@SteveSuckington: [first date] Her: omg are you wearing a cape? Lol Me: [texting mom] ok you were right about the cape