@envydatropic: The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong
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@Sassafrantz: He'd probably stop sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts if he saw how many chins pop out when I look down to read it.
@Dawn_M_: If you say "guess who died?" with a big smile on your face some people get kinda angry.
@GensPlace: I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours.