@TheMichaelRock: The four scariest words any husband can hear are "guess what today is?"
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@BellaBurnley: My ex bf called me today. I answered by screaming "HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!" and hung up. Should make him wonder a lil bit.
@fuzzlime: Do not underestimate me. 16 just dared me to eat the fish food. It's freeze-dried worms. Wasn't bad. I'm hungry.
@Honda_954: Two cannibals are eating Dane Cook. One says to the other, "does this taste funny", the other replies "No".
@kumailn: "Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'." - study conducted using Christmas newsletters