@TheMichaelRock: The four scariest words any husband can hear are "guess what today is?"
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@Cheeseboy22: Dolphin scientists say that dolphins are the smartest animal next to humans, but I think they're only saying that because they're dolphins.
@ItsAndyRyan: Me: "I can't turn on the shower" Plumber: "It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up" *Hands over shower cap*
@Rollinintheseat: When you're talking to someone with no teeth, you find out teeth are also a retaining wall for spit.