@TheMichaelRock: The four scariest words any husband can hear are "guess what today is?"
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@Georg_Grey: If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him.
@SamGrittner: Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale.
@RidiculousSheri: My life is like a movie where two soulmates meet in line at the grocery store, except I'm the woman behind them buying tampons and cat food.