@_youhadonejob: The fourth largest religion.
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@P_o_n_k: INVESTOR: But how will I know when it's done? INVENTOR OF THE TOASTER: Think of the most startled you've ever been.
@2tickytacky: I threw a dart at a map to pick a vacation spot and shattered the hell out of my phone screen.
@T_Bonezzz_: When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier.