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@_youhadonejob: The fourth largest religion.
@dorkwing_duck: Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and-
*chemistry set explodes*
Mom: what was that?!
God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*
@_ElvishPresley_: [commercial for boiling water]
*enemies at castle wall are splashed with cool refreshing water*
castle guard: there must be a better way!
@TheBoydP: What’s it called when you have decided to stop eating cold turkey sandwiches?
@dafloydsta: It's not condescending if they're stupid.
@Chase_Observes: Don’t believe in aliens, huh? Explain how people in the 1800s got on top of those bicycles with the huge front wheels.