@TheBoydP: The "free milkshakes for a month" contest I just won is telling me my month's supply of shakes is 5 shakes. Yeah 5 should last me a month...
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@hasht4g: Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because kids that eat Taco Bell can't climb, or run.
@squirrel74wkgn: As I exposed my glorious chest hairs & catapulted toward the Velcro wall, I realized that I had no exit strategy.
@MavenofHonor: Listen, I've been stuck atop this condemned lighthouse for weeks now, and you don't hear me complaining. No one does
@Jaywoo74: If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss