@AimeeHelene1: The French cow says MEUX...
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@MomOfTeen: For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births.
@Rollmaninoz: *KFC* Me: how tender is the chicken? Employee: [points to chicken crying watching the notebook]
@SirEviscerate: [Airport terminal] *waits at baggage claim area* *an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel* *I check the tag to make sure it's mine*
@TheRealHoff10: People keep asking me today "So you have a new boss?" No, I'm still with my wife.