@SCbchbum: The funniest part about The Bachelor is the participants actually think being married is a prize.
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@cool_as_heck: ME: who's a good boy!! DOG: did you just misgender me you genderphobic heteronormative piece of shit ME: what DOG: bark
@DamienFahey: I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, "That's where it belongs."
@Dutch_50: I'm at that age where I can't simply pick something up, I need to first knock it over and then pick it up.