@SCbchbum: The funniest part about The Bachelor is the participants actually think being married is a prize.
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@_davidlucas_: If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve.
@ericONEderful: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
@Lowenaffchen: if swimming is really exercise then why dont fish have mega muscles. yeah i thought so. drain the pool so we can skateboard in it
@simoncholland: [sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations*