@SCbchbum: The funniest part about The Bachelor is the participants actually think being married is a prize.
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@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
@mjkspeaks: [arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer.
@BCMontgo: Sir, you can't walk up to the drive through window. [45 minutes later] *gallops up to window on stick horse*
@divyne_mess: Yes I'll watch your kid,but if you don't pick her up on time, I'm telling her there's no Santa Claus.