@LackOfShame: The funniest thing about being sober is someday finding out that you were the mayor of Toronto.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Cheeseboy22: If I wanted to drive my wife insane, I'd secretly raise a colony of bees & place one new bee inside of her car each morning for ten years.
@WilliamRodgers: When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver
@Brentweets: Chipotle has been hacked for an hour and hasn't noticed... Taylor Swift was hacked and wrote an album about it 30 seconds after.