@LackOfShame: The funniest thing about being sober is someday finding out that you were the mayor of Toronto.
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@AmishPornStar1: "Sure Chief, you can join us for dinner this year. But in the future, you're gonna need reservations." -Pilgrims, at the first Thanksgiving
@knot_eye: Upon graduation from the University of Phoenix, do they just send you a screencap of your degree?