@FreudsTwin: The funny thing about fast food is, that it slows down the people who eat it.
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@zachheltzel: Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its millions of fans insist you just don't understand.
@KirstenCatClub: Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you.
@FknVancouver: My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I'm starting to think he borrows it while I'm asleep