@CringeDaiIy: The future is now.
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@pixelatedboat: This Easter, please take a moment to remember Jesus and his inspiring message for mankind:
@jwoodham: INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in? ME: What do you mean "if" Harry Potter was real?
@juliussharpe: People used to go all around the world for spices. That must have been underwhelming. "Guys, I've been gone three years and this is cumin."