@kelkulus: The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples.
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@shaztaberry: I am going to the Antique Roadshow. Gonna slap my tampon on the table and ask them what period it's from.
@dukelongboard: When I was 13 my dad gave me a bunch of socks n said "I heard u grunting in ur room last night, do it into these" So now I poop into socks
@SalaciousSully: Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada
@TheTweetOfGod: CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN.