@kibblesmith: The genie sang that whole song about how he's gonna be Aladdin's best friend ever right in front of the monkey
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@TheAlexNevil: *I gently close front door Dog: Where have you been?? I was worried sick about you! See that vomit on the floor? That's because of you!
@HellRaisingHell: Finally found a job ad that didn't mention 'attention to detail' or 'team player'. Finally!
@rickolantern: Dear guy lighting bottle rocket fuses with a cigarette that's still in your mouth, You're going as a pirate for Halloween.