@kibblesmith: The genie sang that whole song about how he's gonna be Aladdin's best friend ever right in front of the monkey
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@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
@brendohare: I wear a 3-piece suit to bed in case someone breaks in & we have nothing to talk about. "Did you notice I'm wearing a suit?" "Yes"
@tastefactory: *tree falls in forest, quickly stands up and looks around to see if anybody heard it, brushes self off*