@BackrowSeats: The get rich or die trying philosophy on life is going terribly one sided for me.
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@slimmy_shady: Me: "Get me a newspaper."Friend: "Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad." Poor spider never knew what hit it.
@sixfootcandy: Me: Mmm...I love your milky white skin. Him: Ma'am are you registered for this class? Me: Yes Him: Step away from the CPR doll and sit down.
@Jmboyd58: *driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you.