@KKAlThani: The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit.
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@_mindflakes: Doctor: We need to double your meds Me: Will I still be able to knit little capes for my hamster? Doctor: We need to triple your meds
@jwoodham: Hey [STOP] Got your voicemail earlier [STOP] I'm replying with a telegram because you're apparently a big fan of outdated technology [STOP]
@Contwixt: In truth, spiders are harmless* *Save for a few species whose venom reprograms your immune system to tell your body to eat its own organs.