@Not_From_Troy: The girl in front of me sped up so I did too. She started to run, just like me. Then she yelled for help, me too. I wonder what we fled from
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@Marlebean: My kid drinks a teaspoon of medicine with the intensity of a sommelier at a wine tasting.
@matt___nelson: [Maroon 4 meeting] Adam Levine: "Our band name sucks" Drummer that no one knows the name of: "let's think bigger" Adam: "I've got it"
@msgwenl: Everyone who lined up 30 minutes early to board the plane is gonna be so mad when we all land at the same time.
@TheTweetOfGod: When people say "To be honest...", it means that up to that point they've been lying.