@onume_: The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use.
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@ohpeetie: Boyfriend planted watermelon seedlings in our garden. I just bought a watermelon to put beside his plant before he wakes up tomorrow.
@NolaChef504: If a drunk falls in the woods and no one is there to hear him, why did I go camping?
@Fun_Beard: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966): A hermit living within his means is ultimately corrupted by the power of consumerism.