@RorynotRoy: The girl that just walked by gave my dog a double take like she thought she might've gone to high school with him.
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@o__0Dev: If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you're the worst employee at a toy factory.
@FilthyRichmond: Pregnant women go through a "nesting" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed.
@whereami18: My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up
@alwayzintruble: My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow..