@ShaneKnowsStuff: The girls I meet in bars have the worst pickup lines. They're like, "Hey, what's your friend's name?" Never works on me ladies.
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@Black__Elvis: If I had a daughter I wouldn't waste money on training bras, I'd trap wild bras and train them myself like our ancestors did.
@HatfieldAnne: Let's have some fun! I'm up for anything today!* *As long as there aren't too many stairs.
@emilylime: The more exclamation marks I use, the more I'm lying: Miss you too girl!!! Yea I'd love to go to lunch!!!!! Sorry something came up!!!!!!!!
@thenatewolf: They should make 9-1-2 a number you can call when it's not quite an emergency but you still need to vent. "Hello, Operator? Yeah, there's a bird on my car... No, I'm in the house, but I can see him through the window."