@ryanchris: The Golden Globes is how everyone else on twitter gets revenge on sports fans.
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@sixfootcandy: Dr: How can I help you? Me: Can you make me look like this? Dr: Ma'am, that's a picture of Hello Kitty.
@LeoLion_16: My neighbours loved that song so much, they threw a rock in my window to hear it better.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Snow White sees her doctor] Snow White: How bad is it, Doctor? Doc: Damn it I told you I'm a mine worker not a doctor. It's my name, idiot
@SteveSuckington: "Tell me where the money is or else I kill the girl" -just to be clear, if I don't tell you she dies but I get to live right?