@JD_KC: The goldfish just gave me the "just flush me" look. No way pal. If I have to stay so do you.
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@mrjohndarby: Cop: I have bad news. It's your son. You need to come down to the mortuary Mom: But…how? Cop: Maybe get a cab?
@JustaFunEscape: Twitter to me is like the Bermuda triangle. I don't know how I got here and I'm not even sure where "here" is.
@PorkUrPine: WIFE: look at that couple. He kisses his girl every time he sees her. Why can't you do that ME: I'd love to but I don't know her well enough