@topaz_kell: The good news about falling down the stairs is that my Fitbit counted it as a mile walk.
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@iwearaonesie: me *walks into house* wife: Where are the kids? me *turns around and goes back out*
@david8hughes: Me: theres a man outside fighting with water Wife: the neighbour? Me: yes Wife: is he in the pool? Me: yes Wife: again, its called swimming
@ShalyahEvans: Henry VIII would be glad to know that in a post-Game Of Thrones world he actually seems pretty chill