@Torriable: The Government could have bailed out Hostess - by legalizing weed
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@shanethevein: Want followers? Tweet something funny. Can't think of anything? Tweet something honest. Can't say anything honest or funny? Try Facebook.
@Rollmaninoz: *stable* Me: that one Stable hand: ah careful ridin her, she used to belong to an old knight M: ok *Horse goes 2 steps forward & 1 left* WTF
@Social_Mime: I'd give my wife my coat if she's cold but I'll take it back if I become cold and maybe she'll be prepared next time we go out.
@Reverend_Scott: You see two puppies. "Awwwww!" But they're cannibal puppies! "Ahhhhhhh!" One puppy eats the other! "Ewwwww!" Then he takes a nap. "Awwwww!"