@dumbbeezie: The government has already implanted chips in our heads. Mine are barbecue
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@smithsara79: You don't really know true fear until you're headed to work to teach at a middle school after you tried cutting your own bangs
@ChrisScarlette: *i put two straws in my drink* gf: awhh :) me: hell ya double barrel *i use both straws*
@awkwardphilippe: ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?