@SamGrittner: The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana.
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@WilliamAder: Me winding up as the last man on earth is an unlikely scenario, but an awful lot of women seem to have already thought it through.
@AnitaHelmet: If men knew the effect their scent has on women, they'd shower more and fart less.
@sarcasticmommy4: I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.