@AmberTozer: The government is dysfunctional and needs to be fixed I'll probably fall in love with it any minute
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@KentWGraham: I used to sing my daughter to sleep at night, which is probably why her first word was “Stop.”
@just1fool: "Please. Make yourself at home." *Brings cat and litter box inside* *Spreads cat poop on ground next to litter box*
@BrattyBarbie: Behind every successful man stands a surprised woman and behind her stands the surprised mother-in-law and behind her,your surprised Dad.