@AmberTozer: The government is dysfunctional and needs to be fixed I'll probably fall in love with it any minute
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@cakemittens: Adulthood - Pros: you can eat ice cream in bed. Cons: this will somehow make you sadder.
@jazmasta: "David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"
@spcycucumber: Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You'd think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
@NoogsCorner: After drinking that much, I just hope whatever I bring back home is some sort of human.