@lwhit_the_boss: The government is so screwed up and dysfunctional, I'm amazed I haven't tried to date it yet
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@Dutch_50: Co-worker insists on talking with his mouth full. No one can ever understand him. Wish we had a dentist was in the house to interpret.
@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties
@Pastor_Bert: Me: are you serious? GF: yes I can't take it anymore, you're too unpredictable Me: [wearing a different shirt] what are you talking about?