@lwhit_the_boss: The government is so screwed up and dysfunctional, I'm amazed I haven't tried to date it yet
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@KKAlThani: Next time someone catches you talking to yourself, make it worthwhile by laughing, yelling "Good one!" and high-fiving the air.
@edgarrants: The best part of being old for the holidays? Nobody bats an eye when you 'randomly fall asleep' in the middle of a conversation.
@jensrmk: People always ask, would you rather be right or happy? I have always found I'm happiest when I'm right!