@lwhit_the_boss: The government is so screwed up and dysfunctional, I'm amazed I haven't tried to date it yet
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@david8hughes: "You're in no position to be making demands." [does a handstand] "Company helicopter & 2 months extra vacation." "Fair enough.
@trevso_electric: I got this "breathe" tattoo on my wrist because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.
@QwertyJones3: "Mr. Trump how will you beat Hillary Clinton?" TRUMP: I'll win NY, Florida, Ohio, we're going to add states, Gerzona, Timbaland, Waterworld
@CindyMeakin: Well, I'm going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it.