@NickFlora: The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password.
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@AaronFullerton: Doctor: "I'm sorry, sir, but you have an STD. I suggest you make a list of all your partners--" Lou Bega: "Way ahead of you."
@kellyoxford: "The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert" - my 9 yr old daughter
@SadPeruna: Every call with my mother starts in one of two ways: 1. WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED? IS EVERYTHING OK? 2. WHY ARE YOU CALLING? IS EVERYTHING OK?