@NickFlora: The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password.
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@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
@Dirty_Naomi: I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
@weinerdog4life: Did you know you can just buy live lobsters? Anyway can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters
@Coastiefish: Don't say "ATM machine". The "M" already stands for "machine". It's redundant. It's like saying "end result" or "racist Fox News Anchor".