@Vodkantots: The greatest thing about Christmas is how it teaches kids to be selfish little shits on someone else's birthday.
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@carrietini: According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.
@howe007: If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
@AnOrangeSNES: Apparently just because I have the "mind of a child" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's "illegal" to carry a brain around.
@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.