@moose_chocolate: The groundhog in our town died on Sunday. I can't imagine how long our winter will be now.
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@Kristen_R5: summer is real cute until every frickin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
@TheBoydP: I may be getting old but not “doesn’t know what day of the week it is” old. I can tell by which day I open on my daily pill organizer.
@KateWouldHaveIt: My son just said he’s going to call me “Squishy” to match my stomach and now I need to have another kid just so I can have a favorite
@0point5twins: "Boss, I've got a probl-" "There are no such things as problems, only opportunities" "Oh, ok. I've got a serious drinking opportunity"