@moose_chocolate: The groundhog in our town died on Sunday. I can't imagine how long our winter will be now.
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@Token_Geezer: Girl said she wanted to have my babies so I invited her over. But she didn’t look happy when I told her to put them to bed by 8 and went out
@williamsonnier: customer: *looking at menu* what's good? me: not much what's good with you? him: ... him: ... me: chicken salad. the chicken salad is good.
@Aspersioncast: My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.