@illuminatedwndr: the guy at Subway just put Cheetos on my sandwich. can't tell if he's stoned, or he knows that I am
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@squirrel74wkgn: *walks in at 3am* Wife: OMG, what happened? Me: I was attacked. [front door 5hrs later] Neighbor: What happened to our inflatable Santa?
@NikiWithIssues: My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi.