@12ozCourage: The guy at the urinal next to me must really like my wrist watch.
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@LindaInDisguise: After sitting in the labor and delivery waiting room chairs for 12 hours, I need an epidural as much as those women in labor do.
@robdelaney: The contents of my son's last diaper was so upsetting to both of us we shared a cigarette after I changed it.
@LeBearGirdle: Guy at door: How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage? Dad: yea sure [yells up to me] son, you live with this guy now!
@_sweet_ham: Sometimes I put my workout gear on and watch tv because it's the thought that counts.