@myles_morrison: The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Prof_Peejay: Me: "You flunked the labs & the midterm. You need 154% in the final to pass." Him: "So there's still a chance?" Me: "Let me ask my unicorn."
@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the day before Lent, and when it was done, not a creature was sober, not even a nun.
@mishakey: It's fun to watch a waitress flirt with my husband for an entire meal, then see that look of betrayal as I take the check from her hand.
@STEELERS1972: When my laptop asks "Are you sure?", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.