@gg21462: The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
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@KentWGraham: Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors’ house, they’re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
@nealbrennan: When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist.