@kiralc: explaining cat scratches is like defending an abusive boyfriend to your parents "he didn't mean it" "you guys just don't know him like I do"

@Bunnydurden: Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.

@mostunladylike: He leans in, looks into my eyes, and lowers the lights. I go in for the kiss. And now I'm being escorted out of the opticians.

@Tharin_P: The irony of my developing severely crippling stomach cramps minutes after reading a cheesy old love story isn't lost on me. *faints*

@KeetPotato: "i said make him fetch" yeah? "what have you done" he looks pretty fetching to me *dog in shirt & tie* does he have a job interview or somet