@kirkdiedrich: The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway.
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@Tmoney68: My kleptomania has always been a challenge, but stealing from this bakery really takes the cake.
@AndyAsAdjective: I now feel I've watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I'll be able to successfully make it in prison.
@TheHatdog: If you watch Scooby-Doo backwards its about some kids helping a business owner enter a costume contest then minding their own business.
@peachesanscream: To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.