@angeliav68: The guy next door just put up his Christmas lights... I bet he's pissed because I beat him, I put mine up 5 years ago..
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@JPHaddadio: Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over.
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: I've been so stressed out lately. What can I do? DR DOG (tail wagging like crazy): Studies show that petting dogs relieve stress
@noog: I wish the entire planet could come together as one and agree to refer to Kanye as Kanye Kardashian so we can bask in his shattered ego.