@angeliav68: The guy next door just put up his Christmas lights... I bet he's pissed because I beat him, I put mine up 5 years ago..
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@maisonshouting: *thinks my friend Liz’s full first name is Lizard* Lizard. Listen to me. Why are you laughing. Lizard be serious. Lizard please
@iamchrisscott: A good comeback when someone doesn't believe you're a time traveler is "Yeah well nobody cried at your funeral."
@Consent2Treat: I could tell my parents truly loved me as a child. My bath toys were a toaster, radio and a blow dyer.