@supertweetjen: The guy two cubes down wears vests, curls his mustache, and never says a word. I always smile politely because maybe he'll spare my life.
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@FrazzleMyGimp: [At drive through] GUY: would you like a drink holder? ME: ya sure [driving home] ME: so uh, what’s the pay like? GUY IN BACKSEAT HOLDING TWO SPRITES: It’s not great.
@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@wendchymes: My standards in my 20's- brooding & poetic 30's tall, nice smile, secure job 40's - hmm I bet that shouty homeless guy would clean up nice
@SoVeryBritish: Leaving restaurant: "That was lovely" Outside: "Well, it was okay" In car: "I mean, it wasn't great" Back home: "We won't go there again"