@supertweetjen: The guy two cubes down wears vests, curls his mustache, and never says a word. I always smile politely because maybe he'll spare my life.
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@WPLGLocal10: Man arrested after accidentally texting probation officer asking if he had any weed
@nachosarah: if all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn't do it too because cats can land on their feet they'll be fine
@WritePlay: MAN: I'll get pasta & she'll have the salad COW: What's that mean? MAN: Uh- COW: I'm fat? MAN: ... You're a cow? PIG AT NEXT TABLE: Ooo