@LeonEarlgrey: The guy who created Virgin airlines probably didnt go to high school otherwise he would have called it "shes probably lying airlines".
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@TheCiscoKidder: Saw my wife watching the Food Network while I was making dinner, so I was like, "You can just watch me in the kitchen, no commercials!"
@3sunzzz: If you're giving me directions and you say, "Head north," I'm going to think you mean toward the sky.
@SashaBrenner: One of the wheelchair basketball team players has been tested positive for WD40 :(