@LeonEarlgrey: The guy who created Virgin airlines probably didnt go to high school otherwise he would have called it "shes probably lying airlines".
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@PissingLaughter: Fake moms- 'I never want to be away from my children' Real moms- 'You drop that pizza, I'll put you up for adoption'
@whatmaddness: I'm trying to explain to my mother how to get pictures off her phone, while we're on the phone, and everything is awful.
@Bearslietoo: Saw a squirrel get hit by a car earlier.Felt kinda bad,but I don't think the squirrel gave a shit that the Smart Car was totaled.
@Jandalize: People who say 'be careful what you wish for' have obviously never wished for free, unprotected, unlimited wifi from their neighbor.