@J_Illunninati: The guy who made my sandwiches told me Have Fun as he handed them to me. Not sure what he thinks I was gonna do wit them
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@jonnysun: TREE: [sees christmas tree thru window] who dose he think he is. all dressed up. too good to be outside ANOTHER TREE: be nice, he is dying
@aveuaskew: "You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying." *raises megaphone to lips* How so?
@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
@BoogTweets: Mom: Your son still won't do his laundry. Talk to him Dad: I'm not going in there Mom: Why Dad: Last week I stubbed my toe on 1 of his socks