@J_Illunninati: The guy who made my sandwiches told me Have Fun as he handed them to me. Not sure what he thinks I was gonna do wit them
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@dshack8: Taught a parrot to repeatedly say "WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool.
@PoliUncorrect: *Crime Scene Cop: (cuffs the dog) Detective: what the hell are you doing? Cop: Sir, I think we're dealing with a shapeshifter