@KelgoreTrout: the guy who named the spatula was so lazy. hes like "what should i call this thing that spatulas?"
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@davidbfunny: Dear waiter, You messed up my order because you didn't write it down. I employed your strategy while calculating the tip. Love, David
@ComedicBust: My girlfriend's furious that I bought her The Golden Girls box set for her birthday, but I knew she'd get over it since she's not real.
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