@Swishergirl24: The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
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@jake_lach: <-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking
@fart: if cops want to catch serial killers why don't they just hang out at petsmart and follow home the guys that buy tarantulas
@LarryJLund: Ex-wife died in a car wreck yesterday. Didn't send flowers, thought might be weird to the family. That and didnt know other drivers address.
@Michael_Erhart: Doc: "Your arm is broken. I'll put you in a cast for a while and it'll recover." Me: "Ok, but I don't get how being in a movie will help."