@TheBoydP: The hardest part of being a dog is not understanding why squirrels don’t want to play with you.
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@Mr_Kapowski: - Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?
@Boleyngirly: I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
@pmclellan: I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday 13th.The next day he won the lottery