@TheBoydP: The hardest part of being a dog is not understanding why squirrels don’t want to play with you.
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@dubiousrhetoric: Someone at this party is wearing the same shirt as me. It's very awkward. How did this happen. We barely even fit in this shirt.
@hythemafia: I've quit my new job as a postman..... .....they handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: "This isn't for me."