@TheBoydP: The hardest part of being a dog is not understanding why squirrels don’t want to play with you.
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@GulfCoastJake: Tip: When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?" do NOT respond with "I know, right?!"
@Wine_Charmer: [lying in front of the fire] 11: Do you think she's asleep or dead? 9: *throws toy, 2 massive dogs pounce on me* Me: *screams* 9: Asleep
@SSDated: This guy in the elevator asked for my number so I wrote it on his arm. Apparently he meant which floor, so that was awkward.
@ehchinoo: *looking under hood of car* "Well there's your problem" *removes cardboard box with engine drawn on it*