@AsgardianRose: The hardest part of being Darth Vader is never being able to sneak up on anyone because your theme music started playing.
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@Brianhopecomedy: Looks like my wife snuck a love note into my pocket which is pretty cute, although I don't know what "DNR" means.
@InternetHippo: "Do you want to have fun but also get more mad than you've ever been in your life?" - video games
@bourgeoisalien: 5 years ago when 'House of Cards' started we said, 'That's so scary.' Now Trump is here and we're like, 'hahaha, House of Cards is adorable'
@SamuelHLowe: - I'm your son's teacher and I'm calling to tell you that he may be a compulsive liar. - And a damn good one. I don't have any sons.