@zgbetty: The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
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@TheCatWhisprer: Online shopping is all fun and games until you have to get up and get your credit card from the other room.
@Reverend_Scott: How to impress your ex: 1. Get rich 2. Get more attractive 3. Get a tiger 4. Ride tiger everywhere in preparation for confrontation with ex
@Carmel_Coleman: I had a dream I was going to the zoo to throw poop at the monkeys. No, not my own poop, thats just gross. Poop I found on the way to zoo.