@zgbetty: The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
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@daemonic3: Kangaroo 911: What's your emergency? Kangaroo: I CAN'T FIND MY CHILDREN Kangaroo 911: Did you check your pockets? Kangaroo: Oh nevermind
@Brewsker: You can literally say "the night is young" at any time of day or night. Nobody is policing this.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Winning a fight with your gf is like winning a vacation to Detroit. Don't get too excited
@Vodkantots: How to deal with anger and resentment toward someone: 1. Write down feelings and put message in a bottle 2. Break bottle over person's head