@zgbetty: The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
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@gtfml: When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
@brentalfloss: 1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?
@ixix82: 280 characters, baby, and you know what that means: OXFORD COMMAS. OXFORD COMMAS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!